Tag Archives: body shaming

No More Gender Bias – EDC Congressional Briefing, April 2011

In April 2011, I was given the honor of presenting at the Eating Disorders Coalition’s Congressional Briefing. I can’t believe it’s already been two years – this was before I had even started this blog! Until recently, this video (along with the other speakers) had been sitting on a hard drive somewhere, but it’s finally made it online. Below are some excepts, or just scroll to the end for the full video.

I am proof that eating disorders DO NOT discriminate.  It is not a disease of vanity. It is not a “woman’s disease.” It is not a “phase.” It is a life-threatening mental illness epidemic. Despite the data we have that demonstrate that millions of Americans – men and women alike – currently suffer from eating disorders, the shoulder-shrug excuses that are used to trivialize and dismiss eating disorders persist. Despite the fact that upwards of 20% of all anorexics will die as a direct result of their eating disorder, there is a lack of awareness in virtually every level of support that should be there to help someone. From the social level with friends and family, to health care providers, emergency room doctors, and of course, insurance companies.

When I should have been making friends, focusing on school work, and growing into the person I was going to become, I instead lost two years of my life to anorexia, two years of my life that I can’t ever get back. My senior year in high school, I had a falling out with some close friends, and fell into a deep depression. I lost my appetite, and couldn’t sleep. I didn’t know what was happening – everything occurred so quickly. Though I had visibly lost weight, it was a few months after my problems began that I ever bothered weighing myself. Co-workers who didn’t know me well would compliment me on the weight I’d lost. My friends could tell something was wrong, they just didn’t know how to approach it. Not knowing what was wrong myself, when they’d ask if I was OK I would insist that I was fine (a word that a good friend of mine refers to as ‘the real F-word’). Eventually, someone at work asked me how much weight I had lost. The thought hadn’t crossed my mind, and out of sheer curiosity I went home and weighed myself, and my bitter relationship with numbers began.

In those early months I never had ‘goal weights’ or anything else – it was all curiosity. The more I lost, though, and the more my body reflected it, the more I started to wonder how low I could actually get. It’s important to note that, at the time, you could say I was on auto-pilot. I was aware of what I was doing but I was never really in control. Our bodies depend on the intake of food and on regular sleep to function properly, and when deprived of those things your judgment and emotions can get quite disrupted, among other things. I didn’t just wakes up one morning and decide that I was going to be anorexic, any more than one might decide to become a drug addict or to have cancer.

My family and friends could tell something was wrong, but they didn’t know the right questions to ask. I skipped enough classes that my teachers started to worry, too, and even the guidance counselor checked in with me. They could all see I was losing weight very quickly, but they danced around it, wondering if I was depressed or if things were “OK at home”. Maybe they just weren’t used to screening eighteen year-old males for eating disorders. Either way it’s not as if I blame them, I was as clueless as they were. I went through my own denial, listing off all the reasons that I couldn’t be anorexic. “That only happens to models.” “You’ve just been depressed and haven’t felt like eating.” “It’s not that serious, things’ will be OK.”

… My story is not a unique one, and until we have the FREED Act, millions of others will continue to struggle. Children are being exposed to an endless stream of messages and advertising that tells them they should dislike their bodies, and dieting is becoming common among elementary school girls who haven’t even started puberty. This is a problem which is only going to get worse until there is a real intervention on the federal level.

By passing the FREED Act, Congress has the power to give health professionals the tools they need to identify, treat and prevent eating disorders effectively. They have the power to make sure no one has to go through what I went through ever again.

Congress has the power to make sure no one else has to become a statistic. I have friends who are struggling with eating disorders who I’ve encouraged to come to Capitol Hill with me for EDC National Lobby Day. Every day and every month that they don’t get the help they need to recover, I wonder if they’ll be able to make the trip to Capitol Hill with me, or if I’m going to have to bring their picture and memory instead.

And so I’m asking. I’m pleading. Pass the FREED Act. Thank you.


You can access the full speech transcript here.

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Striving For Perfection: Boys & Body Image

I had another great opportunity to take part in a segment on body image and males. This segment was especially interesting to me because it had a broader focus, particularly due to the contributions of Alan Aragon. Alan is a nutrition and fitness expert, getting his start in the gym as a personal trainer. Nowadays he finds himself writing, blogging, and fairly well-known online on the fitness forums he helps moderate. I’m so detached from body-building and gym culture that I forget how many men are wrapped up in that stuff, so I got a lot out of the discussion too.

Here’s the full list of panelists:

Claire Mysko @ClaireMysko
Author, “Does This Pregnancy Make Me Look Fat?”
clairemysko.com

Niobe Way @youthresistance
Professor of Applied Psychology, New York University
niobeway.com

Ryan Salonen
Actor
IMDB credits

Alan Aragon
Nutrition guru
alanaragon.com

Simon Metin @smetin92
Medical Student, King’s College, Cambridge
Simon Metin on YouTube

I want to thank everyone at The Stream for covering this topic, asking good questions, and staying away from shock value media like lowest weights or the like. Also, it was great to be on Claire, whom I’ve had a few Twitter exchanges with but never anything like this.

Alright, I’m off to prepare for next week with the Eating Disorders Coalition. Maybe I’ll see you on Capitol Hill?

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April 10, 2013 · 12:13 pm

Anorexia in Men on the Rise – Huffington Post Live Interview

Happy Eating Disorder Awareness Week! I had the pleasure of participating in a discussion on Huffington Post Live on eating disorders in men this past Thursday. I’m excited that they chose to highlight this subject during awareness week, and appreciate the thoughtful questions they had for everyone on the segment.

You can watch the full segment below, which includes a young man named Alberto De Leon in Chicago who is currently in recovery from an eating disorder; Margaret Johnson, the editor for HuffPost Women; Amanda Webster, an Australian mother who’s son developed anorexia in childhood; and Dr. Gregory Jantz, an eating disorder specialist in Seattle. You can watch the full video below:

You may notice that the title on the video says, “Manorexia on the Rise.” Well, I don’t care for that term one bit, and I’m happy to report that when I emailed my contact on the production team, they changed it on the main video page and wherever else it was possible. Unfortunately, it’s much harder to edit out of the video stream, but I want to extend my gratitude for the quick response they had in changing it where they could.

I’ve written about my disdain for that term in the past:

If you’ve been keeping up with me on here, you have probably heard me talk about “gender inclusivity.” I believe for ED treatment, research, and prevention to advance, it has to be fully inclusive and not just catered to the majority. I almost slipped through the cracks of the resources available to me during my own recovery because it was all designed for women, and I mourn for other boys and men who find themselves in similar circumstances.

I grimaced at the original title because taking a word like “anorexia” and altering it to reference EDs in men carries the implication that men experience it differently in some way – otherwise, they would just call it anorexia, right? …In short, it by default is not gender inclusive.

It won’t do us any good to take notice of how our recovery culture is feminized if we just turn around and make it gendered in the opposite direction. Eating disorders are, more than anything, a matter of public health concern.

Thanks again to Huffington Post Live for having me, and for responding to my request regarding the segment title so quickly. If more media outlets handled this issue with the same level of care, we’d all be the better for it.

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Filed under Activism, Eating Disorder Awareness Week, eating disorders, Interview, Recovery, Uncategorized

2012 in Review

The New Year marks almost two years that my blog has been online. 2012 saw a lot of new visitors, and as I did last year, here are some of my favorite posts of 2012!

1) January 13, 2012: Smash Your Scale (And Anything Else Holding You Back!)
One of my favorite posts, and also one of my favorite stories to tell. The avatar for my blog (the smashed scale up in the corner) isn’t some stock photo – it’s actually the scale I smashed back in 2005 behind the alley of my first apartment.
“I can’t really understate how good it felt to smash that evil contraption. It was one of the biggest enablers of the eating disorder, and there was no way I could pretend that I was going to get better and still keep it around.”

2) February 6, 2012: Continue reading

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A Breath of Fresh Air

Now that the holidays are here, I can breathe a little easier. I’m lucky that my job is at a university, which happens to shut down for almost two whole weeks over the holidays! Which means it’s time to get around to updating this page!

Holidays used to be a big challenge for me. Being around family, having food prepared for you or going out to restaurants you aren’t used to, your whole schedule thrown off… sometimes that chance to relax is actually more stressful than your day-to-day. Over the years I learned that it’s the times when you’re challenged that it’s most important to stick to what works for you and put recovery first.

Maybe you want to get out of going to that restaurant, or just make excuses to avoid meals with other people all together. But I think the best gift you can give to yourself is to do things for you and not whatever negative voice in your head might tell you otherwise. Sure, it’s easier said than done, but recovery is something you do, meal by meal, day by day.

If you’re working, in school, or both, the holidays (basically all of November and December, if you’re anything like the average American!) can just add stress and make it harder to focus on taking care of yourself. But those are the times when it’s the absolute most important to maintain healthy choices and self-care. When you find yourself overwhelmed, where you do go for a breath of fresh air?

If you’ve struggled with an ED in the past, odds are that one of the reflexive reactions is to slip back into those kinds of patterns. That’s why it’s really important to have a plan for taking good care of yourself. Having a few friends who understand where you’re coming from that you know you can call in the moment when you’re struggling can go a long way. Why not go for a walk, a drive, a bike ride? Call a friend?

We all need a breath of fresh air sometimes. The question is, where do you go to get it? Do you turn back to old habits, or do you seek out new ways of dealing?

When you’re in the moment and all that anxiety about food feels so overpowering, it’s easy to feel as though there’s no other option but to engage in disordered eating behavior. But the best gift you can give to yourself, no matter what holiday you may or may not celebrate, is the gift of self-nurturance and self-care.

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Secular Spirituality, Atheism, and Recovery

If you’ve been through recovery, I’m wondering – how has your recovery been impacted (positively, negatively?) when the recovery culture dialogue turns to the almighty? It seems to happen a lot, and there’s a lot of faith-based stuff out there. And if that helps you recover, then I’m all for it! Everyone’s recovery will look a little different and be unique to them, and hope can be found in many different forms.

But for nonbelievers, the prevalence of religious language in recovery can present an additional hurdle – I know it did for me. Early in my recovery, before I got into more structured group therapy with a counselor, I was attending Twelve-Step groups that focused on eating disorders/disordered eating. I couldn’t recommend them for everyone, but it was what I needed at the time. I had hit an all-time low, and a friend told me about a group that met less than two miles away from where I lived downtown. I went the very next day, desperate for anything that might assuage the constant misery and physical discomfort I was in.

I honestly thought that I was going to go there, they would tell me what to do, I would do it and I would get better – just like going to the doctor and getting a prescription. I quickly found out that that wasn’t the case. But what I did find was a new perspective and a sense of hope – the people there spoke about their struggles with honesty and clarity, as well as an unexpected humility. One of the things emphasized in all Twelve-Step fellowships is admitting you don’t have control over everything, and as you work through that it can really give you some room to breathe. However, part of that admitting you don’t have control everything (a notion that often clashes with our Western sense of independence and individuality – but I challenge you to sneeze with your eyes open or to prevent the sun from setting) is turning that control over to a “Higher Power.”

Ugh.

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Fit, or Fitting In?

Well, this is an interesting follow-up to the ‘fitspo’ discussion last week. Sarah Robles, the top weight-lifter in America, is bound for the Olympics and can barely pay rent.

…And even though she’s the U.S.’s best chance at an Olympic medal, she’ll never get the fame or fortune that come so easily to her fellow athletes — in part because, at 5 feet, 10.5 inches and 275 pounds, she doesn’t fit the ideal of thin, toned athletic beauty.

“You can get that sponsorship if you’re a super-built guy or a girl who looks good in a bikini. But not if you’re a girl who’s built like a guy,” she says. The 23-year-old from California became the highest ranked weightlifter in the country last year after placing 11th at the world championships, beating out every male and female American on the roster. On her best day, she can lift more than 568 pounds — that’s roughly five IKEA couches, 65 gallons of milk, or one large adult male lion.
(full article)

The thing is, if you passed Sarah on the street, a lot of people might make assumptions about her health based on her height and weight, and I doubt anyone would assume she was an Olympic athlete. She’s a prime example as to why I can’t stand that ‘fitspo’ crap – it promotes very narrow ideas of health, fitness, and attractiveness. If ‘fitspo’ is about motivation to work out, why isn’t there any with Sarah Robles? After all, she’s pretty damn fit!

Eat healthy and work hard, and you might be on your way to the Olympics, just like Sarah Robles!

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Uninspired

Hi, internet. Sorry I’ve been absent lately. I’m taking a summer class (for the first time in four years!) and, in addition to my regular job, it’s a lot of work. I’ll try to get posting again on a somewhat regular basis!

Currently listening: Have Heart - Songs to Scream at the Sun
Currently reading: Women and Politics

There’s something that has been bothering me lately. Around the time that Tumblr announced they would be actively screening and banning accounts & posts which promoted self-harm and eating disorders, I noticed a new trend.

Fitness Inspiration. Or, ‘fitspo’ for short. A little background: the type of stuff Tumblr was taking aim at (although how effectively they’ve implemented this policy is arguable) was content that actively promotes or encourages eating disordered behavior. Images of emaciated people, usually women, emphasizing characteristics of being extremely underweight that are circulated by “support” communities for eating disorders, but all they support is the continuation and reinforcement of life-threatening disorders.

The average person sees this crap and they are appropriately upset by it. However, it was quickly replaced by ‘fitspo’. This, it seems, is perfectly okay with the average person. Images of female athletes doing physically demanding activities, extreme yoga poses, or close-ups of some stomach muscles accompanied by some “motivational” captions.

On the surface, it may seem harmless enough, encouraging people to exercise and to eat well. Exercise is good, right? Food is good, right? As a runner, I can’t disagree with either of those sentiments. I enjoy exercising, I sleep better when I’m active, and I make sure to eat in a way that supports all the activity I do because I want to make sure I’m giving my body what it needs.

There are two things I don’t really ever look at, though: the mirror and the scale. Here’s why.

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